It’s always weird for me to call it an anniversary. When I think of anniversaries I think of happy occasions. But my first anniversary after Columbine was a hard one. The whole week leading up to April 20th was full of special reports, asinine interviews, and anything else they could pollute the airwaves with. Not something I wanted to watch but it saturated the airwaves so much you couldn’t stay away from all of it. News media today seems a little better but we never really had to deal with social media which is an animal on its own.
I worked at a call center here in Littleton and it was definitely a different day I guess you can say. Headed to work feeling depressed knew I was holding on by a thread but calling in and sitting at home just didn’t seem like the right choice either. I walked into work said hi to a few people and sat down at my computer and logged in, definitely not my usual self. Not 5min later before I could take my first call one of my supervisors came over to me asked me to go into project (clocking hours but not taking calls) he wanted to talk to me. I did what he said and we head over to a private interview office and sat down. All it took was four words, “How are you doing?” and I completely broke down. My supervisor was a very good guy, he listened to me didn’t give me any of his thoughts or theories which was extremely common. Was just a friend there for me, he asked a few questions to basically clear up the lies the media spun but that was it.. Afterwords he sent me back to my desk still pretty much a wreck to log out and sent me home on a paid day off. Sitting at home being depressed just seemed like a bad choice so I went home grabbed my camera gear and spent the rest of the day lost in the woods shooting pictures. Fairly therapeutic day spent a lot of the time just relaxing.
I can’t tell you how to best deal with the flood of emotions or lack there of, everyone is different and some people I know it was just another day. Just don’t be ashamed to unplug from the world and take a personal day, your own well being is very important. Remember there are people who understand what you are going through and are here for you if you need it.